Who is a Mother in Law from Hell?
Being married is awesome. A loving husband, maybe some kids, an extended family to hang out with. Except you have a toxic mother in law. Her actions and words try to undermine you, make you look bad and paint her as the perfect person. Do any of these ring a bell?
• Criticizing your parenting
• Sarcastically putting you down
• Blaming her actions on you
• Accusing you of disrespecting her
• Coming to your home unannounced
• Constantly telling you what to do and getting angry when you don’t do it
• Announcing the sex of your baby before you do
• Making judgements about you and voicing them to everyone
• Having no boundaries
And so, the list could go on and on! But let’s get down to what we really need to know: how to deal with the toxic mother in law from hell…
Manging a Toxic Mother in Law
Unfortunately, it’s not possible to cut her out of your life completely, especially if you have kids and your husband also wants a relationship with her. But you don’t have to take any of her crap! You don’t need her approval, her trust, her thoughts and ideas or her ‘help.’ What you do need is clearly defined boundaries, so she knows her place. Here are some ways you can do just that:
• When she goes low, you go high – don’t stoop to her level. Just hold your head high and keep the moral high ground.
• Know it’s her and not you – it’s her fault that she is like she is. Her behaviour has nothing to do with you. Most likely she cannot move on and accept that her son would rather be with you than her!
• Don’t let her rent a room in your head – stop obsessing about what she has done. Focus on the great things in your life and not her.
• Set boundaries and stick with them – this can include no uninvited visits, no swearing or name calling, no giving of advice and no cooking of your husband’s favourite foods, because she ‘knows you can’t cook it like she does!’
Do you have a toxic mother in law? What have you done to reduce her impact on your life?
Posted: Thursday 26 July 2018